You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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