Everything about him screamed your future.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
