I'm drive I can fine osifer
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
