whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The beer is more important than you right now.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
