I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
