I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
