just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
