Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
