Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
