This girl is more easily done than said...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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