it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
