How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i believe in u and ur pee
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
