Porn is love you can see.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
