I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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