i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Your penis caused this!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
