There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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