No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
