I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
