You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
