so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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