hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
