i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize