Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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