i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
