i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
