Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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