Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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