I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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