3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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