This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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