I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
