i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
