so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
