OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
