Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
