i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
