Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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