I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
