I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
