so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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