quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
