i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
