i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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