Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
