i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
