shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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