That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
