I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Too much gin, very little bucket
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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