Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
