And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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